CHAPTER SIX CHRIST – THE HEAD OF THE MARRIAGE
“…Surely I will no more give thy corn to be meat for thine enemies; and the sons of the stranger shall not drink thy wine, for the which thou hast laboured:
But they that have gathered it shall eat it, and praise the Lord; and they that have brought it together shall drink it in the courts of My holiness.” *** Isaiah 62:8-9
God’s revelation through Isaiah was not speaking of physical corn or wine. When Isaiah spoke of corn, he was speaking of grain. Wheat and barley were the main grain staples in the diet of the Israelites. When Isaiah spoke of corn, he was speaking of Israel’s food. The same was true when reference was made to meat. He was speaking of Israel’s food. When Jesus’ disciples were concerned about Him eating, He replied,
“My meat is to do the will of Him that sent Me, and to finish His work.” *** John 4:34
Jesus’ food (Spiritual food) was to be pleasing in the eyes of the Father. Isaiah spoke that our desire to do the will of the Father would no longer be hindered by the enemy. The enemy of God is the old, Adamic nature; the old self-life of the carnal man.
Isaiah wrote that strangers would not drink of the wine. The word for wine is TIYROWSH which makes reference to the new wine. Wine is the anointed Word of God. It is the new wine that cannot be put into old wineskin. The old wineskin represents those who have come into the anointing and have done nothing with it. They have wrapped it in a napkin and buried it in the earth (flesh), *** Luke 19:20. Their only will is to do the things that please self.
Isaiah spoke that those who have gathered and laboured to obtain shall partake of God’s meat. The writer of Hebrews states, “Strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” *** Hebrews 5:14
Strangers will not drink of the new wine. Only those who have their will lined up with the Father’s will shall partake of the anointed Word of God. God is about to pour out this new wine upon His earth, His chosen, His elect, whom He calls the precious fruit of the earth. This new wine also represents the early and latter rain which will be poured out upon those who have the patience to receive it. *** James 5:7
Isaiah relates that they who brought the new wine together shall drink of it, *** Isaiah 62:9. The word drink means “a time of rejoicing, while experiencing the provision of their God”. These will not only praise the Lord, but will be a praise unto the Lord. These are His precious fruit in the earth. These will drink the new wine in the courts of His holiness. God’s desire is to assemble His Body in the courts of His presence so that He may present His True Church to Himself,
“…a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” *** Ephesians 5:27
The corn and the wine will be brought together in those who will enter into His presence. It will be those whose food is to do the will of the Father through the Anointing (new wine) that God will pour out on His new creation, man.
God’s whole creation culminated in the creation of Adam. God created nothing after the sixth day. The Word tells us He rested the seventh day. Eve was created the same day as Adam, and God brought them together as one.
“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” *** Genesis 2:23-24
Adam proclaimed, “This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” This spoke of the oneness God created in Adam. This was not true of any of His other creations. God created everything male and female. Adam was the only creation in which God created the female from the male. Adam spoke, “She shall be called woman (ISHSHAH).” ISHSHAH means “female or wife”.
Adam then said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife,” *** Genesis 2:24. The word cleave means “to cling, stick, to follow closely, to join to”. In all that God spoke concerning the relationship between man and woman, there was to be no separation between the man and his wife. They were not to have a separate existence, one without the other. God created woman because Adam needed a helpmate, *** Genesis 2:18. God created the woman from Adam and brought them together, stating, “And they shall be one flesh.” *** Genesis 2:24
Before man fell into sin, and before God instituted the church, before God did anything with His creation, He instituted marriage as a spiritual union between His creation, Adam.
From the beginning, God established headship in the marriage: Christ the head of the man, and the man the head of the woman. Marriage was to be a spiritual union between man and wife to pro-create God’s creation.
When Christ is made the head of the home through proper order, the husband and wife have a solid foundation on which to establish their home. God spoke to His creation, Adam, that man was to leave mother and father and cleave unto his wife. God intended the man and his wife to start a new home. It was not to be a continuation of either the husband’s family or the wife’s family. God’s desire was to establish a whole new entity in the earth with Christ as the head. This new entity is to be established by the husband and wife in proper kingdom order. Upon this foundation, the man and the wife are to raise the children God will give them by His direction and standards.
By God’s direction, man was to leave mother and father. The word leave means “to depart, to abandon and to loose”. When God gives us direction to do something, He generally gives us two examples in His Word; one example of obedience to His Word, the other example of the disobedience to His Word.
When it came time for our father, Abraham, to take a wife for his son, Isaac, he sent for his head servant and directed him:
“Thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.” *** Genesis 24:4
His servant journeyed to Nahor, the city of Abraham’s brother. The Lord led the servant to Rebekah at the well. After the servant was greeted by Abraham’s family, he asked that Rebekah be allowed to return with him to become Isaac’s wife. When the agreement of marriage was arranged and it came time to depart, Rebekah’s brother and mother wanted her to remain with them for 10 days. *** Genesis 24:55
When Rebekah was asked, “Wilt thou go with this man?” She said, “I will go,” *** Genesis 24:58. Rebekah left with Abraham’s servant to become Isaac’s wife. The separation between mother and father was complete, and she became one with Isaac. This was God’s example of walking in obedience to His Word.
Rebekah was barren, but God opened Rebekah’s womb, and she bare Isaac twin sons, Jacob and Esau. After Rebekah and Jacob had deceived Isaac into blessing Jacob instead of Esau, Rebekah told Jacob to flee unto her brother, Laban’s, house. Rebekah said,
“I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?” *** Genesis 27:46
Isaac also commanded Jacob,
“…Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.” *** Genesis 28:1
Both Isaac and Rebekah wanted Jacob to take a wife from his own people.
God admonishes us in His Word not to become unequally yoked with unbelievers,
“..For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” *** II Corinthians 6:14
Isaac and Rebekah did not want Jacob to marry an unbeliever in the land of Canaan which was of the daughters of Heth.
Heth means “terror and dread”. Those who have become unequally yoked with unbelievers certainly know the terror and dread that is in a marriage which God has not ordained and is not the head. When two are unequally yoked, there is no scriptural foundation on which to build the marriage.
Rebekah was grieved in her spirit when she proclaimed, “What good shall my life do me?” *** Genesis 27:46. Her time, effort and training would have been for nought if Jacob would have married a daughter of the land. So Isaac and Rebekah sent Jacob to Laban, Rebekah’s brother, to take a wife.
From the first time Jacob saw Rachel, Laban’s daughter, he loved her very much. He worked seven years to pay the dowry so he could marry Rachel. But he was tricked by Laban, and was given Leah, Rachel’s sister, instead.
Jacob complained vehemently and after agreeing to work another seven years for Rachel’s dowry, Laban gave him Rachel. Here is where Jacob made a serious mistake. He did not separate from Rachel’s father’s house. Because of Jacob’s decision to remain another seven years in his father-in-law’s house, there were constant problems for Jacob, his wives and his children.
As long as Jacob lived with Laban, he would never become the head of his household. He would never establish that new entity in the earth as directed by God. He remained a servant in his father-in-law’s house twenty years. Laban deceived Jacob many times, yet Jacob did not leave. Finally, God brought Jacob to the place where he had to make a decision for his own household. When Jacob decided to separate himself, his wives, his children and all his belongings, he stated to his wives,
“Your father hath deceived me, and changed my wages ten times; but God suffered him not to hurt me.” *** Genesis 31:7
After much oppression and deception, Jacob fled with his wives, his children, his flocks and all that he had from Laban’s house. When Laban was told that Jacob had fled, Laban assembled his brothers and pursued Jacob. On the way, God spoke to Laban,
“Take heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.” *** Genesis 31:24
God spoke to Laban that he was no longer to say anything to Jacob, good or bad. Laban knew God’s voice and he understood he was no longer to interfere with Jacob’s household. Under much oppression, Jacob had finally made the decision to leave father and mother and cleave to his wives. When this decision was made, God moved to establish Jacob as the head of his house.
Laban’s words reveal that Jacob had not established himself as the head of his household,
“What hast thou done, that thou hast stolen away unawares to me, and carried away my daughters, as captives taken with the sword?” *** Genesis 31:26
Laban accused Jacob of forcing his daughters to go with Jacob by the sword. Laban still considered Leah and Rachel to be his daughters, not Jacob’s wives. Laban had such a hold in Jacob’s family, that he was sure the only way Jacob could have gotten them to go with him was by force. Laban further said,
“And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in so doing.” *** Genesis 31:28
Laban called Jacob’s children his sons and his daughters. Jacob had not separated himself from Leah and Rachel’s father and mother. As long as Jacob remained with Laban, Rachel and Leah were still considered under the headship of Laban, their father. Jacob was nothing more than a servant.
In the New Testament, Paul wrote,
“The heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all.” *** Galatians 4:1
As long as an heir is a child, he is a servant and will not inherit. Jacob was heir to the promise God had made to Abraham. But he never departed from the servant realm. There comes a day in our walk with God that we are no longer considered servants. Jesus stated,
“Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of My Father I have made known unto you.” *** John 15:15
We become His friends when we do whatsoever He commands us. This is when He will tell us all things He has heard from His Father. But He will not reveal this to the servant realm. This was Jacob’s position in his wives’ eyes, in his children’s eyes and in his father-in-law’s eyes. The power of control was in Laban’s hands. Laban stated,
“It is in the power of my hand to do you hurt: but the God of your father spake unto me yesternight, saying, Take thou heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.” *** Genesis 31:29
The power of control was in Laban’s hand, not Jacob’s. Jacob’s family, including Jacob, was considered an extension of Laban’s family. It was only because God intervened and spoke to Laban not to speak good or bad to Jacob, that Laban did not force his daughters and grandchildren to return to his house.
Jacob had remained with Laban twenty years. In that time, Jacob had lived with Leah and Rachel for only 13 years. The first seven years in Laban’s house, Jacob did not have a wife. In the thirteen years he was married to Leah and Rachel, Jacob had not established the headship in his home.
When Rachel left her father’s house, she stole his household idols. Even though she willingly went with Jacob, she clung to the gods of her father’s house. In Rachel’s mind, she still thought of Laban as her head and did not want to let go and put her complete trust in her husband. Wives, too, must leave mother and father and cleave unto their own husbands, leaving behind all those things that would hinder. This was God’s example of the consequence of disobedience of His Word, and what happens when a new home is not established.
God spoke through Adam that the man was to leave mother and father and cleave unto his wife and they would become one flesh. This oneness in marriage is to typify the oneness of the Body of Christ God will raise up in the earth. The home is to be a microcosm of the Body of Christ. Until the home begins to operate in proper order, the Body of Christ will not become a reality in the earth.
If the headship of Christ is not established in the man, then Christ is not the head of the home. And if Christ is not the head of the home, then Christ’s order is not established in the home. If the husband is not the head of the wife, again, Christ’s order has not been established. And if Christ’s order is not established, then His power, authority, blessings and His promises cannot be released in the home.
God ordained separation from mother and father to establish a new entity; a oneness in marriage. If marriage is to become what God wants it to be, then separation from mother and father must occur, not only literally, but also in the heart.
God created marriage to be the most glorious of all His creation. Many times God used marriage to describe His relationship to Israel and to the church because marriage typifies His oneness with His creation, Adam.
God has given many directions as to how the marriage is to function. The first direction to man was to cleave unto his wife, and the wife was to submit, or be in subjection to her own husband. Peter directed the man,
“Ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” *** I Peter 3:7
Man is to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. The word knowledge is the Greek word GNOSIS and means “investigation and respect”. The Amplified Bible renders this scripture,
“You married men should live considerately with your wives, with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relation”. *** I Peter 3:7 (Amplified Bible)
Peter is truly admonishing the men to understand, by the Word and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, how to implement God’s instructions concerning his wife and his relationship to her. Peter revealed that the husband should honour his wife as the weaker vessel. The word honour means “to prefer, with loving regard”. To honour is to respect the wife as God’s creation. The wife completes God’s creation in the man. The areas where the husband is weak, God created the woman to be strong. The areas of weakness in the woman, God created the husband to be strong. In the world, this is called the attraction of opposites.
If God is allowed to choose the helpmate for the husband, He will choose the perfect mate for him, the one who will complete him in all areas of his life. The same is true of the woman. In the beginning the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone,” *** Genesis 2:18. God intended that the man and the woman be together, to become one, and complete his creation, Adam. Peter wrote,
“…Being heirs together of the grace of life.” *** I Peter 3:7
God does not view the husband and the wife separately. He sees them as one. Today many desire to live alone to do their own thing. This has never been God’s plan for His creation; nor does He bless it. Many will say, “You do not understand my circumstances.” God did not ordain His order to fit our circumstances. But He will change our circumstances to fit His order if we become willing to give up self and state, as Jesus in the garden,
“…Not as I will, but as Thou wilt.” *** Matthew 26:39
If we are going to come into God’s order, we must first come to our Gethsemane where we willingly lay down our old life that we may put on the life of Christ.
Peter went on to say, “That your prayers be not hindered.” The word hindered means “cut off”. Many wonder why God’s blessing is not on their home, and why their prayers are not being answered. They need to come into an acceptable relationship in their marriage. God does not hear prayers that ask God to change the wife to suit the husband, or to change the husband to suit the wife. The prayers God hears are those petitions which ask God to make their marriage acceptable to Him, and to change each of them so that they may fulfill God’s purposes for their marriage. This takes real repentance on both parts if the marriage is to be successful in God’s sight.
We cannot come into the presence of God and into His courts with praise if there is disunity in the marriage. If the man is not in order with Christ as his head, and the woman’s head is not covered by submission to her husband, then Christ is not the head of that home.
When Paul was establishing the order in the church at Corinth, he stated,
“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” *** I Corinthians 11:11
In the Lord, man and woman are one. In the marriage they are one. Only in headship does God differentiate between the man and woman. God established His order. He has not changed it, nor will He bless when we violate it. Circumstances or situations will not alter what God has ordained. If we are to enter into His domain, it will be through His order. Paul went on,
“For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.” *** I Corinthians 11:12
Woman was taken from the side of man. Man was born by the woman. Both are dependent on the other for their existence. One does not exist outside the other. Many women state, “I don’t need men.” And many men state, “I don’t need women.” Paul wrote, “But all things are of God,” *** I Corinthians 11:12. God created the need in man for woman, and the need in woman for man. Those who say, “I don’t need men,” or “I don’t need women,” almost always fall into sin; either fornication, adultery, homosexuality or lesbianism.
It was not God’s will that man should live alone. God created the need for the marriage partner in man and in woman. Those who refuse to come into God’s order find other ways to satisfy their need for the marital relationship. Any sexual activity outside marriage is sin.
The oneness God instituted between the man and the wife goes even further. Paul wrote,
“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” *** I Corinthians 7:4
The word power is EXOUSIASO and means “authority or right to act”. God is stating that the husband and wife are not at liberty to act independently from each other. One of the gross violations of this scripture is the fact that the government says a woman can have an abortion without the consent of the husband. God’s direction is that the wife and husband have authority over each other’s bodies. Does this allow then for perversion where the husband can require his wife to engage in perverted sexual activity, or the wife to require this of her husband? Absolutely not! The writer of Hebrews states,
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” *** Hebrews 13:4
God intends the marriage act to be undefiled. If the marriage relationship is defiled, God will judge those who are involved in such activities as adulterers and whoremongers. Man and woman become one flesh through the marriage relationship, or the act of sex. Paul wrote,
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith He, shall be one flesh.” *** I Corinthians 6:15-16
When we engage in sexual activity, whether with our wife or a harlot, we are joining Christ in that sexual activity. This is why sex must be in the Lord’s design, or we have joined Christ in sexual perversion. The sexual relationship between man and wife is a spiritual act. Today the world has gone “sex crazy”. The majority of television has sex as its main theme. The underlying message of talk shows, magazines, books and advertising is sex, whether natural or perverted.
We need to begin to understand that sex was given to man and woman as a spiritual responsibility in God. Yet, most consider it only to be recreational, with no binding effect in the lives of those who are engaging in such activities. By and large in our day, children are taught wrong perceptions of sex through the media. Sex has become part of the dating process. It is expected and accepted.
Sex was given by God as a spiritual act, not only to pro-create His creation, but to cement the marriage relation, and to fulfill the need that God instilled in each of His creation. The marriage bed must be undefiled to be pleasing in the sight of God.
In the beginning man and woman stood naked before God. There was no shame in anything they did because they were spiritually and morally upright before God. It was with the advent of the deceiver that man and woman found need to cover their bodies. The covering was so the naked flesh would not be before their eyes to act as a source of temptation in their fallen condition. With the advent of so-called “girlie magazines”, it is necessary for the editors to show more and more. When all had been exposed, then it has to be perverted to satisfy the lust of those who partake of this mockery of God’s creation.
“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” *** I Corinthians 7:4
He simply stated that there is to be oneness in all decisions involving the husband and wife. The wife should not make a decision outside the husband, and the husband should not make a decision outside the wife. All things concerning the marriage, the home and their relationship to God should be discussed with each having their input. Then the decision the husband makes is not outside the wife.
Many wives run back to their mothers and fathers to see if the decision their husbands have made are correct. Many husbands make verbal comparisons between their wives and their mothers, or compare their wives cooking with their mothers’ cooking. Any such action or comparison erodes the foundation on which the home is to be established.
“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” *** I Corinthians 7:3
The word benevolence means “goodwill”. The husband is to show his wife goodwill. He is to meet her halfway, to listen to her and to respect what she has to say. Many marriages are in trouble because of the selfish attitudes shown by the husband and the wife. The attitude of, “It will be my way, or no way,” generally leads to divorce court. It is necessary in marriage for the husband and the wife, both, to give 100% of themselves to the marriage. It means both must be willing to give the marriage their 100% effort to bring their marriage into 100% accordance with the Word of God.
When Paul wrote that the husband is to render unto his wife due benevolence, it was not a one way street. He stated, “Likewise, also the wives unto the husbands.” The wives are to show goodwill toward their husbands, also. God designed His Spiritual union between man and woman to be the stability of the church; and not the church only, but the nation. When marriage fails, immorality takes its place. This leads to the decline of the church which leads to the decline of the nation.
The marriage is the basic foundation of God’s whole creation. He established the home as a stable and suitable environment in which to raise His children. When the marriage fails, the children suffer, and deep wounds are inflicted in their lives. These wounds may heal, but the scar tissue never goes away. It remains as a reminder of insecurity and failure. This happens in the child, even though he is too young to remember all the things leading up to the failure of his father and mother as parents.
If we, as God’s creation are to eat and drink in His presence, our lives must be in total alignment with His Word, and that includes the marriage. As the Word states, we are joint heirs together, and if we are to enter into the courts of His presence, we will stand there together as husbands and wives, “…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (tear apart). *** Matthew 19:6
God has made the man and woman one flesh. God ordained this in the Spiritual Realm and man cannot change that. Husbands have their responsibility to the marriage, as do the wives. They are made one in God. They that have brought it together shall drink and eat in the courts of His holiness. *** Isaiah 62:9
1. My meat is to_____ ______ _______ ______ ______ ________ ________ _____, _______ ____ ___________ _______ ________ John 4:34.
2. Wine is the _____________ ____________ of God.
3. What is the precious fruit of the earth?
4. When God gives us direction to do something, He generally gives us two examples. Name them.
5. How important is it not to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers”? Explain.
6. a. How do we make the transition from being God’s servants to His “friends”?
b. What new benefits do we receive?
7. What is prerequisite for the headship of Christ to be established in the home? Why?
8. How does God intend for a man to treat his wife?
9. How does a man select the right helpmate?
10. If we are to come into God’s order, we must first _______________________. Why?
11. What prayers regarding the marriage are acceptable to God?
12. Only in ____________does God differentiate between the man and the woman.
13. The sexual relationship between man and wife is __________ ______________.
14. What are the downward steps of a nation following the failure of a marriage?
15. If we are to eat and drink in God’s presence, our lives must be __________________________.