Research Author Sir Godfrey Gregg OHPM, ROMC

The root of rejection

The root of rejection is actually incredibly simple: damage from rejection is the result of a misplaced identity. Whenever we base our identity on somebody or something other than what God’s Word has to say about us, we make ourselves vulnerable to the damage of rejection. Many of us will base our identity on what our parents, teachers, or friends think of us. This sets a lot of children up for Performance Orientation bondages later in life, because their parents give them conditional love based on their grades or performance.

What or who defines who you are? Is it your job? Is it what your parents thought or think of you? Is it what your friends think of you? Is it how well you perform in the workplace? How much money you have? Is it how good of grades you get? Is it what you think of yourself? Is it how physically strong, fit, or tall you are? When you die, will those things continue to define who you are?

Rejection and rising above rejection is all about identity and what you base your identity upon. The key to overcoming rejection, is to solve the identity problems.

Let’s say that you are basing your identity on what your mother and father think of you. Now the moment that any hint of disapproval comes from them concerning you, that is going to hurt because they are the source of your identity. Anytime we base our identity on what we think of ourselves, or what others think of us, we are virtually trusting that person with our identity. Not even ourselves are capable of truly determining who we are; only God is qualified for that job. That is why it is absolutely vital for us to understand the person that God has made in us, and who we are as new creations in Christ Jesus. We were never made to live apart from God or base our identity on things of this world.

When we base our identity upon what the Word of God has to say about us, we will become virtually rejection-proof. We can become immune from the wounds of rejection as long as we are not basing our identity upon what that person thinks of us.

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