Some dynamics of rejection

The closer a person is to you, the deeper their rejection can wound you. Authority figures are also able to deeply wound you, because you look up to them and rely upon them. Parents often pass rejection on to their children when they say things such as, “I’ll love you when you get good grades.” Conditional love causes feelings of rejection and bondages such as performance orientation and drivenness.

Whether you love or hate a person doesn’t immune anybody from rejection. You can literally want to kill somebody, but still be affected by their rejection. The question is, are you looking to them for approval? Are you basing your identity upon what they think of you? Does their approval of you give your life meaning and purpose?

A person’s age also has a lot to do with their vulnerability to rejection. Children are especially vulnerable to the damage of rejection, because they are still developing their identity and learning about who they are. A lot of damage is done by peers in school. Either your too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, you have brown eyes when you should have blue eyes… you name it, and kids will pick on it! Insecure children can be very cruel and damage other children through rejection. Why? Because their own identity is not based on the right things. They do not know who they really are, or who they are called to be, so they go around putting other kids down to make themselves feel better. If they knew who they were in Christ, it would be an entirely different story! They would seek to edify other kids, and help them find their identity and calling as well.

Is it possible to receive rejection from a child or even grandchild? Yes! Nobody is immune, providing that they are basing their identity on what that other person thinks of them. You can be 100 years old, and be damaged by the rejection of a caretaker.

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